Should you let your child get bored?

You feel like a bad parent when your child says that he or she is bored. In today's world, we respond to a kid’s boredom by technological entertainment or structured activities. But this is actually counter-productive. Children need to delve and learn how to keep themselves occupied in the unstructured time they get. They need to learn to amuse themselves. 

Unstructured time helps them get in touch with their creative side. This time is there for them to follow their own passions and find their calling in life. This time may lead them to make a fort out of clay, compose a song, and observe ants on the sidewalk. Most kids who are given unstructured time, rise to the occasion, but those who aren’t able to come up with something to keep themselves busy, implies that they have too much screen time.

 Children need free play and need to come up with their own games. When they say they are bored, we as parents need to stop doing what we are doing, and listen to them or involve them in our work. You can also ask them what they would like to do, or which fun or creative activity would they like to be involved in. Let them come up with ways to bust boredom. Or you can write down your own boredom-busting ideas on slips of paper, put them in a 'bust your boredom' bag and then let your bored child pull-out a slip and follow the boredom-busting suggestion written on it. Or choose what he or she wants to do, like :-

·        Draw a picture.

·        Read together.

·        Make your own comic strip.

·        Make a doll house out of a shoe box.

·        Play 'minute to win it' games.

·        Entertain your kids with nothing more than a cardboard box.

·        Play silly charades (eg, Santa Claus on a tropical vacation, or a monkey 'trick or treat').

·        Bake pancakes together.

·        Play treasure-hunt or hide and seek

You can come up with your own innovative games, to avoid feeling like a bad parent or your child being exposed to too much screen time. Sometimes just letting your child be, helps spark creativity and helps them find their passion.

There are days when my son wakes up in the morning when he has school and he says he is bored, initially I would think of a zillion things that we could do and suggest things to keep him entertained and busy. I would often even forgo the work that I have just to ensure that he shouldn’t get bored.

 It’s always the guilt that you are not being a good mother. But don’t be, a good mom should let her child get bored and mom have lives too you know.

He was so used to his school routine which keeps them involved with some form of activity or the other that they forget to disconnect, sit calmly and just think without any external stimuli or activity. Now when he says he is bored  or gets anxious that he has nothing to do ,I tell him to sit on his ‘thinking chair’ and just think or tell him wear your ‘thinking cap’ and day dream for just 5 minutes and then you come up with something we can do. He is now more at ease with himself and comfortable with his own company.

Benefits of letting your child get bored:

·        Boredom makes children creative – because think of ways to keep them busy and you don’t have to suggest what they need to do.

·        Boredom gives time for parents – you don’t have to wait for your child to go to asleep to have some lone time with your partner.

·        Boredom keeps them motivated – when they are all grown, you can’t be always around to keep them busy with educational activities.

·        Boredom is good for the psychological well being – they dont fear being on their own and sitting still and not always being on the move. Some adults feel uncomfortable when they are not always occupied with some task at hand. Children need to learn to be at ease and comfortable on their own and not always bombarded with external stimulation.

As Dr Vanessa Lapointe puts it “Children need to sit in their own boredom for the world to become quiet enough that they can hear themselves. Its only when we are surrounded by nothing that something comes alive on the inside. The constant stimulation of today’s reality makes arriving at that place of stillness really challenging for a lot of kids." 

"Screens are everywhere and become a mind-numbing outlet. Scheduled programming abounds, and worse, we feel that our kids need to keep up, just because we register them in all of that programming. School demands are significant and increasingly leak out of the school hours into the home hours. And 'busy' has become the new 'cool' - almost like there is an unspoken message to all of us that you have worth, only if you are busy. Children need to sit in their own boredom in order to arrive at an understanding of who they are. Boredom is the pathway to drive and ambition.”

I love it when kids tell me they are bored. As if the lady in front of the sink full of dirty dishes is where you go to get ideas about how to have a good time - anon