How to save your children from the pollution this winter?

It's that time of the year again. The haze has started to engulf Delhi with it's powerful grip as winter approaches. I hear children coughing while playing in the park , elderly couples while taking a walk. They say you need 30 mins to an hour of physical activity daily outdoors. But what is worse subjecting ourselves to the pollution or leading sedentary lifestyles?

The air quality in Delhi , according to a WHO survey of 1600 world cities is the worst of any major city in the world and yet we are mere spectators to this catastrophe. Air pollution in India is estimated to kill about 1.5 million people every year.

The safe levels for PM according to WHO's air quality guidelines are 20 ug for PM10 and 10 ug for PM2.5. Delhi doesn't see these levels even during the monsoon time when the air quality should supposedly be most favorable. Now what is PM10 and PM2.5 ? This is particulate matter which is 10 micrometers in diameter (by a way of comparison human hair is about 100 um in size). Similarly PM 2.5 is particulate matter 10 micrometers in diameter.

PM10 is the lesser of the two evils. They are coarse dust particles which are caught up in the defensive nose hair and upper airways of our lungs. They make your eyes burn and throat dry. Our body generally removes these particles by sneezing and coughing.

PM2.5 are only detectable under the microscope. They are produced from all kinds of combustion like burning of crop, combustion due to motor vehicles, power plants, industrial fumes. Our body isn't designed to combat PM2.5. This carcinogen is man made. These particles are so small that they bypass our immune system and gets trapped into our lungs.

 Children and elderly are thought to be particularly sensitive to PM2.5. People who live in cities have more incidences of heart attack , reduced lung function and increased changes of dying younger in comparison to people living in cities with cleaner air. The short term effects of this carcinogen in children is runny nose, burning eyes, cough, chest congestion, heavy head, poor cognitive ability.

I saw a video the other day where Dr Arvind Kumar, a senior oncologist at Sir Ganga Ram hospital, spoke about how lung cancer is inflicting youngsters in their twenties and how it doesn't make any difference if you are a smoker or a non smoker in order to get lung cancer? They have done studies which showed that in past (about 20-30 years ago) most lung cancers were seen in patients who were 50-60 years of age, that is because an individual who starts smoking in his or her 20's , their lung tissue becomes cancerous only after exposure to the smoke and carcinogens for about 30 years.

But this trend has changed, individuals are getting lung cancer in their 20's because right from when a baby is born the regular air that he or she is breathing is equivalent to 7 cigarettes a day and on days when are the air is bad (which is about 100 days in winter) , our babies are smoking 30-40 cigarettes a day.

Also the ratio of smokers to non -smokers getting cancer was 8:1 , but now the ratio is 1:1. It doesn't matter if you are a smoker or a non smoker to get lung cancer. It is the air that we are breathing which is toxic enough. The doctor also goes on to mention that if this isn't an emergency that what is and if we don't do something about it , our children would be requiring oxygen cylinders in the near future.

My first reaction to this video was anger that even though most of us are aware of that our city Delhi is dying a slow death and yet we seem to have come to terms to this dire situation. We seem to have become an insensitive lot, instead of nipping the problem in the bud, we are okay with our children wearing Vogmasks during winter, restricting outdoor activity when that air level become hazardous or getting air purifiers installed in our homes , classroom and cars.

But what about the underprivileged who can't afford this interim solution? Untill ofcourse some ressearch tells us that  air purifiers work only in closed rooms but this spikes the level of carbon dioxide in the room which is in turn is hazardous for our children. So the doors need to be opened intermittently to ensure that the carbon dioxide level does not increase. It is a viscous circle.

The second thing I did was to tweet this video to Arvind Kejriwal and the National Green Tribunal, in the hope that someone would see it and call for immediate action. We only think of air pollution as a problem when we see a haze engulfing Delhi, our national capital, when the levels of PM2.5 reach hazardous, we forget about pollution the rest of the year. When PM2.5 is 120 , we consider that relatively good air, when actually the normal levels of PM2.5 is 10ug.

But why have we accepted this situation ?why are we letting Delhi die? Why isn't odd-even imposed the entire year round? Why isn't crop burning banned, why isn't there an alternative? Why aren't crackers banned? Why are we allowing low intensity low sound crackers? Why are crackers being allowed to be burnt between 9 pm to 10 pm?Who will hold those accountable who will still burn crackers despite the ban? Why aren't diesel vehicles banned? Why isn't there a limit to the number of cars a family owns? Why don't we have learnings from countries like US and China as to how they curb pollution? According to the World Bank , China is one of the few countries which is rapidly increasing its forest cover to manage and reduce air pollution. It is a really dismal state of affairs.

I don't know when our government will wake up and do something but we surely can.

a) Ensure that your kids don't burn any crackers this Diwali and teach them how they need to care for our environment.

b) If possible walk with your child to the market or their class if possible (i.e if it is not too far) or use cycles.

c) Plant as many trees as you can with your children, if possible around your house or a nearby park.

d) Ensure that you child is using the bus to go school or do a carpool with other kids.

f) Use air purifying plants like Aloe Vera, Tulsi , Areca Palm in and around your house.

e) Make your child have jaggery and Vitamin C during the winters as recommended by many pediatricians, it is good for boosting immunity. The presence of magnesium strengthens and relaxes bronchial muscles which further regularizes breathing in children. The iron in jaggery also boosts the respiratory system.

f) Give steam inhalations regularly to your children at night.

g) Take your children to greener areas early in the morning and make your child do breathing exercises.

i) Use N-99 masks like Vogmask when outside and air purifiers with hepa filters like the ones from SHARP to reduce indoor pollution.

j) Make sure that they have a bath and rinse their mouths when they come from outside.

k) During peak smog , keep your children indoors. The lowest level of pollution is from 12pm to 5pm when the sun is out.

l) Make them drink plenty of fluids to flush out toxins.

m) Use heavy curtains in the rooms to prevent pollutants from entering. Keep all doors and windows closed during peak smog, but do open in the afternoon for about 2 hours.

n) Ensure that your children avoid strenous activity and sports during peak smog.

o) Don't burn garbage and use sustainable waste management.

p) Use nasofilters, they get attached to your nose, easier to use than a mask. They are available on Amazon. These filters have been developed by IIT alumini and very affordable.

Be apart of the solution , not the pollution.

Please don't burst crackers ,have a happy and safe Diwali!!!!

How to reduce your child's screen time?

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Our children are surrounded with screens whether it is the television, mobile , ipad or the mini screens in cars. We can't completely eliminate the use of the screen but we need to find a balance.

a) Ensure that your child has no screen time atleast one hour before sleeping. The blu-rays from these devices interfere with the melatonin which is a sleep inducing hormone. As an adult I have noticed that days when I look at my phone for a while before sleeping , it takes me longer to sleep and my sleep is disturbed.

b) Ensure that your child is involved in a sport which involves looking at an object at a distance and then close up, so that their eyes learn to look at distance and then quickly adjust to looking close-by. Our kids spend more time indoor than outdoors that's why their eyes aren't able to develop that skill. Hence some kids have difficulty copying from the board.

c) Do ensure that your kids get a lot of omega 3 foods like walnut soyabean , flax seeds, salmon, chia seeds which are good for their eyes.

d) Ensure that your kids have proper posture while looking at the screen.

e) Ensure that your child eats without watching any screen. They eat mindfully ,enjoys the flavours and textures.

There are a variety of apps which you can download for your kids which are age appropriate and help develop skills.

a) Epic (unlimited books for kids)

b) Moose math

c) Khan academy (online videos and tests)

d) Educational games for kids :Preschool learning activities

e) Great children's cartoons : Curious George , Masha and the Bear

f) Tic Tac Toe

g)Playhome store, playhome school

h) Star fall

i) Guess the code

j) youtube kids

k) Marcopolo Artic

k) Word link

How to help your child develop optimal emotional intelligence?

As parents we want to ensure that our kid's development is holistic in nature and beneficial for them in the long run . But our focus is often on the tangible aspects of development which can be quantified like the physical development i.e they are eating healthy and getting the right amount of physical exercise in order to have a healthy body or cerebral development i.e we are challenging their minds so that they gain knowledge and hone their intelligence so that they get good grades and move on to achieve their professional goals.

But we often neglect the emotional areas of development i.e emotional quotient which is often as important or even more important than intelligence quotient. The emotional intelligence helps children use the skills acquired by him or her in an appropriate way which would help them to be successful in whichever arena they enter.

 Emotional intelligence is the appropriate attitude or mindset that a child needs to develop in order to be successful. Studies have shown that all successful people score higher on emotional quotient rather than intelligence quotient. Emotional intelligence encompasses awareness, understanding and the ability to express and manage one's emotions. If you look at the Indian Cricket Captain ,Virat Kohli, he converts his skill and aggression into great performance , i.e he has a high emotional quotient. He doesn't buckle under pressure, he is truly resilient. That is what sets him apart from other players.

When individuals run high on emotions they often do and say things which they wouldn't in a normal circumstance. Children under the age of 10 lack that emotional maturity. They are unable to self regulate their emotions, but as they grow older their capacity to handle any form of external stimuli improves.There are two important components to emotional intelligence - self regulation and developing a moral compass.

There are 3 easy ways by which you can help your child develop emotional self regulation:

a) Listening to your child and respecting the emotions of your child:

Don't be judgmental, scold or get an irritated look on your face. Your child will feel that you are belittling his or her feelings. Try and respect your child's emotions and understand the trigger. Don't ignore your child's tantrum like "this shall also pass". Empathize with them.

b) Helping your child label their emotions and express their emotions: 

Most young children can't differentiate between their emotions, whether they are angry, anxious or sad. Help them identify their emotions. Don't stop a child from concealing their emotions if they feel like crying let them cry. Don't let their emotions remain stuck inside , let them find a healthy outlet. Explain to them why they are feeling that way? When we let our children express the way they feel , we heal their minds, we help them trust their own emotional process so that they can self regulate their emotions when they get older without tantrums or repression.

c) Help your child find a solution to the problem and how to deal with the emotion:

We have to teach our children to be emotionally resilient to situations. Children who are emotionally resilient aren't  easily distracted and are more focused. Teach your child to channelize their negativity into positivity. Don't start explaining how to handle emotions when your child is emotionally charged , let them cool off. Teach them how to regulate their breathing during an stressful situations. For example, if you had plans to take your child to the amusement park but for some reason you are unable to do so, tell your child -" I understand you really wanted to go and you are upset that we can't go but we will surely go soon. Right now we can think of something fun to do together, so can I please see your gorgeous smile or has the little monkey eaten it?." You have respected the child's feelings and helped him or her find a solution. 

Emotional self regulation is not only important for your child to become successful but it is also important to handle a crisis situation. We need to tell our children we don't always succeed in life, but we don't stop doing what we are supposed to, we need to learn to accept defeat but continue being perseverant to achieve our goals. The owner of Alibaba, Jack Ma said that he failed getting into Harvard ten times but he still didn't give up, 30 people applied for KFC but he was the only one who didn't get through, but he didn't stop trying.

There are so many children who succumb to various pressures in their lives whether it is academic pressure or peer pressure. The suicide and depression rates in teens and young adults have increased tremendously and it is very disturbing. 

Now coming the second component which is developing your child's moral compass. This is extremely important as well.

a) Teaching your child right from wrong even if it involves not being successful in one's goal. Not using wrong means to achieve a goal.

b) Teaching your child interdependence rather than independence. Your child should be able to take care of himself or herself, but we live in a community and we need to teach our children how to work as team at home and at the workplace.

c) Teach your child to be honest and honor commitment.

d) Tell your child that there are no shortcuts in life. Everything requires hard work and perseverance.

e) Teach them to be patient and take on responsibility.

f) Teach them to be compassionate and have the ability to forgive. They should not hold on grudges but let go.

High emotional quotient is directly proportional to happiness quotient. 

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What to do while travelling with your baby on a flight?

The first time I traveled by air with my son was when he was 7 months old, the air attendant instructed me to breastfeed my son while take off and landing , apparently she told me that it prevents our babies ear drums from popping or causing pain due to change in ear pressure. I did as I was told and was oblivious about the risk of traveling with an infant. 

I was quiet disturbed to read online about the baby who recently passed away on a flight from Bengaluru to Patna. The child showed signs of difficulty while breathing. In another incident another an infant choked and passed away while feeding on a flight en-route Doha-Hyderabad-Qatar. It brings to light whether it is really safe to travel in a flight with a infant.

 Why is the airline industry not equipped to handle such a situation? Shouldn't their be a proper guideline for parents so that they take necessary precautions while travelling by air? Shouldn't the airline industry tie up with pediatricians who can train the air attendants with the basics? or even better have a doctor on board especially for long flights. I can't even begin to imagine the pain the parents of these infants must be going through. The loss of a child can be the most debilitating experience in anyone's life.

On inquiring from my son's pediatricians I was told that infants should not be bottle fed especially while landing and taking off because due to the change in pressure, milk particles from the stomach of the child can get aspirated into the lungs, and their lungs are not very well developed at that age. The milk from the bottle very rapidly enters an infants mouth in comparison to breast milk so in the process the baby swallows a lot of air as well.

I was also told that one should avoid travelling by air if possible till the baby is about 6 months old so that he or she is able to hold his or her head up independently and their ear drums are able to handle the pressure change. We should avoid making an infant lie on his tummy after feeding, instead hold the infant in an upright position and help the child to burp.

When you do decide to travel with your little one, do keep the following points in mind:

a) Avoid travelling with an infant who is unwell.(exception being mild fever)
b) If possible wait till your baby is 6 months
c) Don't bottle feed your baby during take off and landing.
d) Carry toys which are not cumbersome to carry to keep your baby busy.
e) Always burp your baby after feeding and don't make your baby lie down on his or her tummy after feeding.
f) Make sure you don't book tickets during the witching hour which is 3pm to 7pm , babies are known to be the crankiest during that time.
g) Carry all necessary medication, extra diapers, wet wipes, feeding bottle, baby food, toys, feeding covers, a swaddle blanket for the little one in a handy bag.
h) Try giving your baby a pacifier so that the sucking action , prevents ears from popping during landing and descent.
i) Do consult your pediatrician if your baby has a cold or ear infection and if giving a infant pain reliever would help.
j) Don't get overwhelmed if your baby is crying during a flight, raise an alarm if you notice anything out of usual in the behavior of your baby.
k) Try choosing the window seat so that you have more privacy and you can adjust the light from the window as per your babies convenience.
l) Don't overfeed your baby during a flight and always feed your baby in an upright position.
m) Speak thoroughly with your pediatrician before flying to clear any doubts.

And most important stay calm , you got this !!!!

Why do Children fidget?

I have had conversations with many child psychologists who suggest that the current generation of kids are more fidgety than the kids of the 80's (which basically means when we were kids). Back then in a classroom only 1 kid in 30 kids was distracted and would not focus in class but that number has increased now in-fact 8 in 30 kids face problems of focusing, following instructions given by the teacher and are unable to sit still in class. Kids bang into each other without realizing, fall of their chairs while sitting, fidget a lot. So what has really changed since then than has caused this unfortunate shift?

The first biggest reason that was pointed out by all the psychologists was that kids aren't allowed to move enough for them to develop their spatial awareness. Now what is spatial awareness? The ability of the child to be aware of his or her position in space. It is an organised knowledge of objects in relation to oneself in that given space .It also involves understanding the relationship of these objects when there is a change of position. Spatial awareness further helps in developing a child's cognitive abilities.

Kids these days spend more time indoors in-front of their screens, sitting ideal or because of academic pressure have to spend more time at a very young age sitting in a classroom rather than playing outdoors. Countries like Finland where teachers and academicians identify this new problem of kids with underdeveloped spatial awareness are letting kids play for atleast three hours a days. The recess period has been increased. Younger kids are allowed to sit anywhere they like and not be conformed to sitting in a classroom. My sister who is a teacher in Sydney , tells me that kids under age the of 6 and below are exposed to play which is only unstructured and if a kids wants to continue playing even though the next period maybe of art or any other, the child is allowed to do so. I would initially scorn at the thought that wouldn't kids become indisciplined if allowed to do whatever they want whenever they want.

Studies also suggest lack of unstructured play causes under developed spatial awareness because the vestibular fluid between the ears of the child doesn't get any movement. Kids should be allowed to climb trees , dangle their heads off the bed, spin round and round in circles but we as parents often stop them because of the fear that they would get hurt. I feel kids should be allowed to be themselves under parental supervision so that they are allowed to develop their spatial awareness. Development of spatial awareness makes them better listeners and in turn better speakers and they use all their 5 senses to their optimal level.

Here are some tips to help your child develop spatial awareness:

a) Ensure that children till the age of 4 get at least 90 minutes of unstructured play daily.

b) Reduce screen time to the minimal.

c) Use lego and blocks to increase focus and concentration.

d) Make them climb trees, run around in the park, do cartwheels, spin around in circles, play hide and seek, play on the swing and see-saw.

e) Make them do an obstacle course so that the children's ability to move under , around , over objects improves.

f) Play verbal instruction games where you tell your child that he or she is a robot and tell them to move left or right , move to the right of an object or to the left of an object.

I would like to quote Heather Shumaker here -" Why do kids go up the slide? They are seeking risk and challenge in their play, kids feel powerful scaling the slide. Going up the slide is fun. It's a healthy adventure often apart of imaginative play. Climbing up the slide , helps kids test their strength, find their limits and gain balance, spatial awareness , social awareness and consideration."

How to help your child speak early?

How are Children programmed during the first seven years of life?

A couple of days ago, I saw a really interesting video on YouTube where Dr Bruce Lipton came up with a theory on how children are programmed from age 0 to 7 years? How we behave in-front of our kids and our actions as parents dictates our child's subconscious for the rest of their lives?

 95% of our life is governed by the programs (habits, decision making)which we have learnt during the first seven years of life , which forms our subconscious mind and 5% of our activities are dictated by our conscious mind which is comes from lectures we attend, a self help book, videos we watch post those 7 years . So for everyday functioning our body uses the subconscious mind (since most daily activities happen in auto mode) and not the conscious mind.

 He says that a child subconscious mind also known as theta, is formed by everything he observes from his surroundings - what his parents do, behave,respond and react? When a child plays his or her imaginary games , for the child, these games are real. He goes on to say that if a child comes from a rich family he will make it in life even if he has a low IQ, because his brain has been conditioned to make the right choices, he will subconsciously make all the right moves but a child from a poor family will remain poor even though he struggles all his life to make it big because his brain has been conditioned to the fact that life is so difficult and it is not easy to be successful.

How you act and react infront of your children becomes their inner voice? After seven years of life , your life is being lived by your subconscious state of mind and we don't even know it. Our conscious mind is the one that is creative, subconscious mind is in auto -mode which was formed during the first seven years of life. You behave a particular way post the 7 years of your life and you don't even consciously realize because that was indoctrinated in you.

But he does say there are two ways in which you can train your subconscious mind as an  adult . First is to identify where you are struggling? and secondly to overwrite your subconscious state of mind or if you want to teach your subconscious mind, it will only learn by repetition , the conscious mind can learns by read a self book , attending a lecture etc but your subconscious mind doesn't learn that way.

Subconscious state of mind learns by observing during the first seven years of life and then after that by repetition. So if you want to learn how to drive a car , you practice till you get it - this only happens by repetition. He goes on to say if you aren't happy but if you keep telling yourself repeatedly that you are ,your subconsciously mind will eventually believe that you are truly happy.

So the early years are really important for your child's future. Our actions, words really make an impact on our children , it also shapes the rest of their lives.

But I would disagree with Dr Lipton when he says that only first seven years dictates or controls the future of a child, it can't be so simplistic. I am in agreement that our actions do shape our children's minds but the time frame for a child to develop his or her subconscious mind has to be greater than seven years. "Also the fact that if a child comes from a poor family he can't make it in life because he is conditioned not to make it and struggle" is something I don't agree with either . There are so many example of individuals who don't come from fortunate backgrounds but do very well in life , as also children who are from well to do families don't really make a mark of their own. Definitely socio-economic status does make the environment of the child more conducive to perform .I feel that it is the attitude and temperament of the child which governs his or her performance, and yes! the parents do play a role here. It does boil down to nature vs nurture.

It is important to inculcate the following tips during early years of our child's lives:

a) Always have positive conversations in front of your child , we don't even realize the consequences of being negative about situations in-front of our children. Try not to look or act stressed in-front of your child. A stressed out parent will give rise to a stressed out child.

b) Let your child play creatively and make their own games , that helps them expand their subconscious mind.

c) Read them stories about influential people in the world and how they have impacted everyone in a positive way? eg Bhagat Singh, Subhash Chandra bose, Mahatma Gandhi,Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, Malala Yousafzai.

d) Teach them about happiness and how it comes from within and not from their situations , surroundings, material or even people.

e) Teach them to value money, make them do chores, teach them life skills.

f) Hug them and tell them you love them unconditionally everyday, it makes them feel secure and boosts their self esteem.

g) Teach them to be kind , compassionate and respectful to others.

h) Tell them everyday single that they need to be the best versions of themselves, never compare your child with anyone else.

i) Don't over compliment your child or make them feel entitled all the time.

j) Listen to your child and do take out time during the day as to what they have to or want to say? Children will listen to you , only when they have been listened to.



The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice-- anon