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Thursday, December 13, 2018

Are Indian kids getting enough protein?

Protein is a major building block for muscles and it is especially important for growing kids. Children aged 4 to 13 need about 20 to 35 gms of protein a day. The reason that children need relatively more protein than adults is because of the protein requirement for growth. Children are growing and accumulating extra lean tissue so the amount of protein in their bodies is increasing as they get bigger. Protein and its components function as hormones , enzymes and transporters of other nutrients.

The quality of protein is extremely important as well. Animal protein is known to be the best source as it contains all the essential amino acids. They are more easily digestible and considered a higher quality than plant sources of protein. A child's diet should include nuts , milk, eggs, chicken , fish , meat. Soy and quinoa are also complete protein alternatives. It important that you vary that type of protein that your child is eating, even if it is plant source. Grains and legumes should be in sufficient variety.

It is a well known fact that Indian kids on an average consume lesser protein in comparison to their western counter parts.

Kids are given a lot of food items which are high in carbohydrates and low in protein like paranthas, sandwiches, instant noodles, pasta. But are these foods actually going to help our child's growth and health.

Rice : The rice we eat is mostly polished and all it has is carbs. The protein levels are almost negligible.It doesn’t help with muscle growth or repair.
Rotis : We eat a lot of rotis either with a little bit of curry/gravy or Pickle. Rotis also contain lot of carbs and fiber too but the protein content again is very less. Same goes with stuffed Paranthas
Dal/lentils : Dal and lentils are protein rich and are suppose to help with our protein needs but we eat more rice/roti with lesser dal (or) they are overcooked where they lose a portion of the nutrients.
Vegetables: Indian dishes have a lot of vegetables but usually they are overcooked in masalas in most cases or they are deep fried. When vegetables are cooked in gravy they are consumed less amounts than when they are sauted or stir fried.
Sandwiches: Sandwiches are usually made of potato filling or vegetables with various sauces.
So how do we ensure that the protein intake of our kids is sufficient? We need to ensure that they don't fill their tummies with only carbs.

a) Ensure that kids are getting sufficient nuts and seeds during the day- Soak 2-3 almonds overnight and peel the skin and give it to your child with a spoon of honey. Pumpkin seeds and melon seeds are a great source of protein and good fat. A great source of protein is peanut butter. My son simply loves peanut butter and jam sandwiches. Look for a brand which has no added refined sugar. The Alpino's peanut butter (available online) is a great brand to feed your little ones. My son prefers the crunchy texture to the creamy texture of this brand. 
b) Lean meats like chicken and fish are a great source of protein.

c) Egg is a great source of protein , vitamin D and iron.

d) Soya is high in protein, (nutrela and nutrine nuggets taste quiet divine)

f) Kidney beans, black eyed peas , black chickpeas and white chickpeas provide wholesome protein.



Friday, November 16, 2018

Should exercise be used to discipline children ?


When I was in boarding school I remember that the girl's warden would send all of us on a 1 km run followed by squats if anyone of us were indisciplined or did anything which the warden did'nt approve of?

We all dreaded that one kilometer run and to this day cannot fathom how it helped discipline us? but it did definitely ensure that I disliked running. Using any form of exercise as punishment ensures that children develop a negative relationship with exercise.

This sort of physical punishment seems to be the norm in most schools. I see it today as well. I take my son for tennis and I see kids being sent on multiple rounds of the field if they have been indisciplined i.e(late for class,talking and not focusing, not playing up to the level they are at). I am not sure if this sort of punishment is really effective in sending the right message across to kids. 

It is very sad, that physical activity, particularly exercise is used my many PE teachers and coaches to discipline and punish kids but this has to stop! We have already created a culture of exercise haters. When we use exercise as punishment , we are promoting negative attitude towards exercising that carries over to adulthood.

 The other day my 6 year old missed hitting the target and he was sent on a couple of rounds of the field for not performing without being given a logical explanation, after the class got over he told me he didn't want to continue with tennis anymore. On speaking with the coach he told me that is how discipline is drilled into kids as far as sports is concerned.

I told him that it would work with older kids but not the younger ones who play for fun and don't understand or feel pressured about competition. They have their entire lives to compete but right now it's about them getting a good 60 minutes of play which would benefit their health. Especially since there are so many kids these days who are over-weight and who would rather be indoors than outdoors. The health of the future generation is the hands of these coaches. I think he understood and appreciated my point of view!!

But, why do these coaches and PE teachers want to take the joy of playing away from these young kids? I agree discipline and the spirit of competition is important but I am sure there are better ways of handling situations amongst kids so young. Most of our kids in any case get relatively less physical activity in comparison to the amount our generation used to get. So by attaching a negative consequence to any form of sport at such a young age would only drive the child away from that sport. Infact positive actions on the field should be highlighted and applauded.

A young child shows exemplary behavior on the field , have everyone clap for him. Think about it , even as an adult , would you work harder if your boss praised you for your efforts or derided you for your weakness? I would go for the former. So with young kids we should praise them for their efforts , praise them for being disciplined, reward them for good behavior but do not punish them physically or emotionally for doing the opposite.

There are a variety of ways kids can be disciplined on the field:

a) Communication is of key importance. Speak to the child and understand what has triggered the behavior? ( it could be fatigue, hunger , thirst, anxiety).
b) Give the child a warning before taking any action.
c) Give the child time out and explain to the child why he has been ask to do so.
d) Always reward and praise good behavior.
e) PE teachers and coaches need to speak to the parents so that they can counsel the child.

We need to help children develop healthy and positive attitudes towards various forms of physical activities so that they maintain a healthy lifestyle throughout their lives. There are so many kids who suffer from diabetes and blood pressure at such a young age because of the lack of any physical activity.



Whole Wheat Chocolate Chip Pancakes with Chocolate Covered Date Rolls

My son has always been a big fan of pancakes. There was a phase when all he wanted to eat were pancakes , for breakfast, for lunch and for dinner. I wasn't very happy about the amount of maida (refined flour) that was going inside him. I decided to give the regular pancake recipe a healthy twist. I wanted it to be healthy and yet be yummy because kids are pretty difficult to please in the culinary department.

So here goes - (recipe makes 4 small pancakes)

Whole Wheat Flour (atta) - 1/2 cup
Cooking chocolate (morde dark ) -  50 gms (broken into tiny bits)
Egg - 1
Baking powder - 1/4 spoon
Brown/Demerara sugar - 1 Table spoon
Milk - 20 ml
Olive oil - 1 tsp

Take a bowl and add the egg and sugar and mix. Add the milk and stir till the sugar dissolves. Now add the flour slowly and continue stiring till it is a smooth mix. Add the cooking chocolate and the baking powder and give it one final stir.

Add olive oil to a pan and pour in a dollop of the pancake batter. Watch the pancake rise and flip over when the lower side has turned a beautiful golden brown. Once the pancake is golden brown on both ends, take it off the pan. If your child loves jam. You can serve the pancake with some delicious strawberry/ raspberry preserve. You could also sprinkle some pumpkin seeds or sunflower seeds on top to add a crunchy texture.

Chocolate Date Rolls:

De-pitted dates 
Almonds
Cooking chocolate
Crushed almonds and chia seeds (you can use sunflower seeds or pumpkin seeds as well)

Remove the seed from the date and put an almond in its place. Melt some cooking chocolate in a pan. Once the cooking chocolate has melted and dip the dates in the chocolate till they are completely covered. Now roll the chocolate covered date over the crushed almonds and chia seed mix. Let this cool in the refrigerator for 30 minutes.

Both these treats makes for a great dessert and breakfast for the little ones. If your child is not a chocolate fan , you can replace the chocolate with cinnamon powder.

Do try this out and let me know what your little ones think! ❤️❤️❤️



Wednesday, November 7, 2018

How to make an easy to do rangoli with your kids?

Diwali is'nt always about bursting crackers but there are other amazing ways of celebrating Diwali with your loved ones. I am hoping that everyone in Delhi is going to be more responsible and will not burst any crackers.

The most fun thing that my son looks forward to every Diwali is to make a rangoli. You can do the same with your kids. Below I have given a step wise procedure. It's so easy to do that your kids can do it on their own.



1) First take any circular lid and place it on the surface you want to make the rangoli on.
2) Now put heaps of colour on all around the lid.
3) Lift the lid.

4) With a fork move the colour towards the center. It will start looking like a flower.
5) Clean the center of the flower with your finger by moving it in a circular motion.


6) Fill the circle with colour of your choice.

7) Place heaps of colour around and flatten with a smaller cap.

8) Make a hole in the center and fill with colour.

Benefits of making a rangoli with your kids:
a) Develops aesthetic sense in your child.
b) Pattern making improves logical and critical thinking.
c)Teaches your child colour sense.
d)Improves creativity and imagination.

Wishing you all very happy and prosperous Diwali.




Wednesday, October 31, 2018

How to save your children from the pollution this winter?



It's that time of the year again. The haze has started to engulf Delhi with it's powerful grip as winter approaches. I hear children coughing while playing in the park , elderly couples while taking a walk. They say you need 30 mins to an hour of physical activity daily outdoors. But what is worse subjecting ourselves to the pollution or leading sedentary lifestyles?

The air quality in Delhi , according to a WHO survey of 1600 world cities is the worst of any major city in the world and yet we are mere spectators to this catastrophe. Air pollution in India is estimated to kill about 1.5 million people every year.

The safe levels for PM according to WHO's air quality guidelines are 20 ug for PM10 and 10 ug for PM2.5. Delhi doesn't see these levels even during the monsoon time when the air quality should supposedly be most favorable. Now what is PM10 and PM2.5 ? This is particulate matter which is 10 micrometers in diameter (by a way of comparison human hair is about 100 um in size). Similarly PM 2.5 is particulate matter 10 micrometers in diameter.

PM10 is the lesser of the two evils. They are coarse dust particles which are caught up in the defensive nose hair and upper airways of our lungs. They make your eyes burn and throat dry. Our body generally removes these particles by sneezing and coughing.

PM2.5 are only detectable under the microscope. They are produced from all kinds of combustion like burning of crop, combustion due to motor vehicles, power plants, industrial fumes. Our body isn't designed to combat PM2.5. This carcinogen is man made. These particles are so small that they bypass our immune system and gets trapped into our lungs.

 Children and elderly are thought to be particularly sensitive to PM2.5. People who live in cities have more incidences of heart attack , reduced lung function and increased changes of dying younger in comparison to people living in cities with cleaner air. The short term effects of this carcinogen in children is runny nose, burning eyes, cough, chest congestion, heavy head, poor cognitive ability.

I saw a video the other day where Dr Arvind Kumar, a senior oncologist at Sir Ganga Ram hospital, spoke about how lung cancer is inflicting youngsters in their twenties and how it doesn't make any difference if you are a smoker or a non smoker in order to get lung cancer? They have done studies which showed that in past (about 20-30 years ago) most lung cancers were seen in patients who were 50-60 years of age, that is because an individual who starts smoking in his or her 20's , their lung tissue becomes cancerous only after exposure to the smoke and carcinogens for about 30 years.

But this trend has changed, individuals are getting lung cancer in their 20's because right from when a baby is born the regular air that he or she is breathing is equivalent to 7 cigarettes a day and on days when are the air is bad (which is about 100 days in winter) , our babies are smoking 30-40 cigarettes a day.

Also the ratio of smokers to non -smokers getting cancer was 8:1 , but now the ratio is 1:1. It doesn't matter if you are a smoker or a non smoker to get lung cancer. It is the air that we are breathing which is toxic enough. The doctor also goes on to mention that if this isn't an emergency that what is and if we don't do something about it , our children would be requiring oxygen cylinders in the near future.

My first reaction to this video was anger that even though most of us are aware of that our city Delhi is dying a slow death and yet we seem to have come to terms to this dire situation. We seem to have become an insensitive lot, instead of nipping the problem in the bud, we are okay with our children wearing Vogmasks during winter, restricting outdoor activity when that air level become hazardous or getting air purifiers installed in our homes , classroom and cars.

But what about the underprivileged who can't afford this interim solution? Untill ofcourse some ressearch tells us that  air purifiers work only in closed rooms but this spikes the level of carbon dioxide in the room which is in turn is hazardous for our children. So the doors need to be opened intermittently to ensure that the carbon dioxide level does not increase. It is a viscous circle.

The second thing I did was to tweet this video to Arvind Kejriwal and the National Green Tribunal, in the hope that someone would see it and call for immediate action. We only think of air pollution as a problem when we see a haze engulfing Delhi, our national capital, when the levels of PM2.5 reach hazardous, we forget about pollution the rest of the year. When PM2.5 is 120 , we consider that relatively good air, when actually the normal levels of PM2.5 is 10ug.

But why have we accepted this situation ?why are we letting Delhi die? Why isn't odd-even imposed the entire year round? Why isn't crop burning banned, why isn't there an alternative? Why aren't crackers banned? Why are we allowing low intensity low sound crackers? Why are crackers being allowed to be burnt between 9 pm to 10 pm?Who will hold those accountable who will still burn crackers despite the ban? Why aren't diesel vehicles banned? Why isn't there a limit to the number of cars a family owns? Why don't we have learnings from countries like US and China as to how they curb pollution? According to the World Bank , China is one of the few countries which is rapidly increasing its forest cover to manage and reduce air pollution. It is a really dismal state of affairs.

I don't know when our government will wake up and do something but we surely can.

a) Ensure that your kids don't burn any crackers this Diwali and teach them how they need to care for our environment.

b) If possible walk with your child to the market or their class if possible (i.e if it is not too far) or use cycles.

c) Plant as many trees as you can with your children, if possible around your house or a nearby park.

d) Ensure that you child is using the bus to go school or do a carpool with other kids.

f) Use air purifying plants like Aloe Vera, Tulsi , Areca Palm in and around your house.

e) Make your child have jaggery and Vitamin C during the winters as recommended by many pediatricians, it is good for boosting immunity. The presence of magnesium strengthens and relaxes bronchial muscles which further regularizes breathing in children. The iron in jaggery also boosts the respiratory system.

f) Give steam inhalations regularly to your children at night.

g) Take your children to greener areas early in the morning and make your child do breathing exercises.

i) Use N-99 masks like Vogmask when outside and air purifiers with hepa filters like the ones from SHARP to reduce indoor pollution.

j) Make sure that they have a bath and rinse their mouths when they come from outside.

k) During peak smog , keep your children indoors. The lowest level of pollution is from 12pm to 5pm when the sun is out.

l) Make them drink plenty of fluids to flush out toxins.

m) Use heavy curtains in the rooms to prevent pollutants from entering. Keep all doors and windows closed during peak smog, but do open in the afternoon for about 2 hours.

n) Ensure that your children avoid strenous activity and sports during peak smog.

o) Don't burn garbage and use sustainable waste management.

p) Use nasofilters, they get attached to your nose, easier to use than a mask. They are available on Amazon. These filters have been developed by IIT alumini and very affordable.

Be apart of the solution , not the pollution.


Please don't burst crackers ,have a happy and safe Diwali!!!!

Sunday, October 28, 2018

How to reduce your child's screen time?

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Our children are surrounded with screens whether it is the television, mobile , ipad or the mini screens in cars. We can't completely eliminate the use of the screen but we need to find a balance.

a) Ensure that your child has no screen time atleast one hour before sleeping. The blu-rays from these devices interfere with the melatonin which is a sleep inducing hormone. As an adult I have noticed that days when I look at my phone for a while before sleeping , it takes me longer to sleep and my sleep is disturbed.

b) Ensure that your child is involved in a sport which involves looking at an object at a distance and then close up, so that their eyes learn to look at distance and then quickly adjust to looking close-by. Our kids spend more time indoor than outdoors that's why their eyes aren't able to develop that skill. Hence some kids have difficulty copying from the board.

c) Do ensure that your kids get a lot of omega 3 foods like walnut soyabean , flax seeds, salmon, chia seeds which are good for their eyes.

d) Ensure that your kids have proper posture while looking at the screen.

e) Ensure that your child eats without watching any screen. They eat mindfully ,enjoys the flavours and textures.

There are a variety of apps which you can download for your kids which are age appropriate and help develop skills.

a) Epic (unlimited books for kids)
b) Moose math
c) Khan academy (online videos and tests)
d) Educational games for kids :Preschool learning activities
e) Great children's cartoons : Curious George , Masha and the Bear
f) Tic Tac Toe
g)Playhome store, playhome school
h) Star fall
i) Guess the code
j) youtube kids
k) Marcopolo Artic
k) Word link

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

How to help your child develop optimal emotional intelligence?


As parents we want to ensure that our kid's development is holistic in nature and beneficial for them in the long run . But our focus is often on the tangible aspects of development which can be quantified like the physical development i.e they are eating healthy and getting the right amount of physical exercise in order to have a healthy body or cerebral development i.e we are challenging their minds so that they gain knowledge and hone their intelligence so that they get good grades and move on to achieve their professional goals.

But we often neglect the emotional areas of development i.e emotional quotient which is often as important or even more important than intelligence quotient. The emotional intelligence helps children use the skills acquired by him or her in an appropriate way which would help them to be successful in whichever arena they enter.

 Emotional intelligence is the appropriate attitude or mindset that a child needs to develop in order to be successful. Studies have shown that all successful people score higher on emotional quotient rather than intelligence quotient. Emotional intelligence encompasses awareness, understanding and the ability to express and manage one's emotions. If you look at the Indian Cricket Captain ,Virat Kohli, he converts his skill and aggression into great performance , i.e he has a high emotional quotient. He doesn't buckle under pressure, he is truly resilient. That is what sets him apart from other players.

When individuals run high on emotions they often do and say things which they wouldn't in a normal circumstance. Children under the age of 10 lack that emotional maturity. They are unable to self regulate their emotions, but as they grow older their capacity to handle any form of external stimuli improves.There are two important components to emotional intelligence - self regulation and developing a moral compass.

There are 3 easy ways by which you can help your child develop emotional self regulation:

a) Listening to your child and respecting the emotions of your child:
Don't be judgmental, scold or get an irritated look on your face. Your child will feel that you are belittling his or her feelings. Try and respect your child's emotions and understand the trigger. Don't ignore your child's tantrum like "this shall also pass". Empathize with them.

b) Helping your child label their emotions and express their emotions: 
Most young children can't differentiate between their emotions, whether they are angry, anxious or sad. Help them identify their emotions. Don't stop a child from concealing their emotions if they feel like crying let them cry. Don't let their emotions remain stuck inside , let them find a healthy outlet. Explain to them why they are feeling that way? When we let our children express the way they feel , we heal their minds, we help them trust their own emotional process so that they can self regulate their emotions when they get older without tantrums or repression.

c) Help your child find a solution to the problem and how to deal with the emotion:
We have to teach our children to be emotionally resilient to situations. Children who are emotionally resilient aren't  easily distracted and are more focused. Teach your child to channelize their negativity into positivity. Don't start explaining how to handle emotions when your child is emotionally charged , let them cool off. Teach them how to regulate their breathing during an stressful situations. For example, if you had plans to take your child to the amusement park but for some reason you are unable to do so, tell your child -" I understand you really wanted to go and you are upset that we can't go but we will surely go soon. Right now we can think of something fun to do together, so can I please see your gorgeous smile or has the little monkey eaten it?." You have respected the child's feelings and helped him or her find a solution. 

Emotional self regulation is not only important for your child to become successful but it is also important to handle a crisis situation. We need to tell our children we don't always succeed in life, but we don't stop doing what we are supposed to, we need to learn to accept defeat but continue being perseverant to achieve our goals. The owner of Alibaba, Jack Ma said that he failed getting into Harvard ten times but he still didn't give up, 30 people applied for KFC but he was the only one who didn't get through, but he didn't stop trying.

There are so many children who succumb to various pressures in their lives whether it is academic pressure or peer pressure. The suicide and depression rates in teens and young adults have increased tremendously and it is very disturbing. 

Now coming the second component which is developing your child's moral compass. This is extremely important as well.

a) Teaching your child right from wrong even if it involves not being successful in one's goal. Not using wrong means to achieve a goal.

b) Teaching your child interdependence rather than independence. Your child should be able to take care of himself or herself, but we live in a community and we need to teach our children how to work as team at home and at the workplace.

c) Teach your child to be honest and honor commitment.

d) Tell your child that there are no shortcuts in life. Everything requires hard work and perseverance.

e) Teach them to be patient and take on responsibility.

f) Teach them to be compassionate and have the ability to forgive. They should not hold on grudges but let go.


High emotional quotient is directly proportional to happiness quotient. 











Friday, October 12, 2018

How to teach your child to hold the pencil correctly?

What to do while travelling with your baby on a flight?


The first time I traveled by air with my son was when he was 7 months old, the air attendant instructed me to breastfeed my son while take off and landing , apparently she told me that it prevents our babies ear drums from popping or causing pain due to change in ear pressure. I did as I was told and was oblivious about the risk of traveling with an infant. 

I was quiet disturbed to read online about the baby who recently passed away on a flight from Bengaluru to Patna. The child showed signs of difficulty while breathing. In another incident another an infant choked and passed away while feeding on a flight en-route Doha-Hyderabad-Qatar. It brings to light whether it is really safe to travel in a flight with a infant.

 Why is the airline industry not equipped to handle such a situation? Shouldn't their be a proper guideline for parents so that they take necessary precautions while travelling by air? Shouldn't the airline industry tie up with pediatricians who can train the air attendants with the basics? or even better have a doctor on board especially for long flights. I can't even begin to imagine the pain the parents of these infants must be going through. The loss of a child can be the most debilitating experience in anyone's life.

On inquiring from my son's pediatricians I was told that infants should not be bottle fed especially while landing and taking off because due to the change in pressure, milk particles from the stomach of the child can get aspirated into the lungs, and their lungs are not very well developed at that age. The milk from the bottle very rapidly enters an infants mouth in comparison to breast milk so in the process the baby swallows a lot of air as well.

I was also told that one should avoid travelling by air if possible till the baby is about 6 months old so that he or she is able to hold his or her head up independently and their ear drums are able to handle the pressure change. We should avoid making an infant lie on his tummy after feeding, instead hold the infant in an upright position and help the child to burp.

When you do decide to travel with your little one, do keep the following points in mind:

a) Avoid travelling with an infant who is unwell.(exception being mild fever)
b) If possible wait till your baby is 6 months
c) Don't bottle feed your baby during take off and landing.
d) Carry toys which are not cumbersome to carry to keep your baby busy.
e) Always burp your baby after feeding and don't make your baby lie down on his or her tummy after feeding.
f) Make sure you don't book tickets during the witching hour which is 3pm to 7pm , babies are known to be the crankiest during that time.
g) Carry all necessary medication, extra diapers, wet wipes, feeding bottle, baby food, toys, feeding covers, a swaddle blanket for the little one in a handy bag.
h) Try giving your baby a pacifier so that the sucking action , prevents ears from popping during landing and descent.
i) Do consult your pediatrician if your baby has a cold or ear infection and if giving a infant pain reliever would help.
j) Don't get overwhelmed if your baby is crying during a flight, raise an alarm if you notice anything out of usual in the behavior of your baby.
k) Try choosing the window seat so that you have more privacy and you can adjust the light from the window as per your babies convenience.
l) Don't overfeed your baby during a flight and always feed your baby in an upright position.
m) Speak thoroughly with your pediatrician before flying to clear any doubts.

And most important stay calm , you got this !!!!

Monday, October 8, 2018

Why do Children fidget?


I have had conversations with many child psychologists who suggest that the current generation of kids are more fidgety than the kids of the 80's (which basically means when we were kids). Back then in a classroom only 1 kid in 30 kids was distracted and would not focus in class but that number has increased now in-fact 8 in 30 kids face problems of focusing, following instructions given by the teacher and are unable to sit still in class. Kids bang into each other without realizing, fall of their chairs while sitting, fidget a lot. So what has really changed since then than has caused this unfortunate shift?

The first biggest reason that was pointed out by all the psychologists was that kids aren't allowed to move enough for them to develop their spatial awareness. Now what is spatial awareness? The ability of the child to be aware of his or her position in space. It is an organised knowledge of objects in relation to oneself in that given space .It also involves understanding the relationship of these objects when there is a change of position. Spatial awareness further helps in developing a child's cognitive abilities.

Kids these days spend more time indoors in-front of their screens, sitting ideal or because of academic pressure have to spend more time at a very young age sitting in a classroom rather than playing outdoors. Countries like Finland where teachers and academicians identify this new problem of kids with underdeveloped spatial awareness are letting kids play for atleast three hours a days. The recess period has been increased. Younger kids are allowed to sit anywhere they like and not be conformed to sitting in a classroom. My sister who is a teacher in Sydney , tells me that kids under age the of 6 and below are exposed to play which is only unstructured and if a kids wants to continue playing even though the next period maybe of art or any other, the child is allowed to do so. I would initially scorn at the thought that wouldn't kids become indisciplined if allowed to do whatever they want whenever they want.

Studies also suggest lack of unstructured play causes under developed spatial awareness because the vestibular fluid between the ears of the child doesn't get any movement. Kids should be allowed to climb trees , dangle their heads off the bed, spin round and round in circles but we as parents often stop them because of the fear that they would get hurt. I feel kids should be allowed to be themselves under parental supervision so that they are allowed to develop their spatial awareness. Development of spatial awareness makes them better listeners and in turn better speakers and they use all their 5 senses to their optimal level.

Here are some tips to help your child develop spatial awareness:

a) Ensure that children till the age of 4 get at least 90 minutes of unstructured play daily.
b) Reduce screen time to the minimal.
c) Use lego and blocks to increase focus and concentration.
d) Make them climb trees, run around in the park, do cartwheels, spin around in circles, play hide and seek, play on the swing and see-saw.
e) Make them do an obstacle course so that the children's ability to move under , around , over objects improves.
f) Play verbal instruction games where you tell your child that he or she is a robot and tell them to move left or right , move to the right of an object or to the left of an object.

I would like to quote Heather Shumaker here -" Why do kids go up the slide? They are seeking risk and challenge in their play, kids feel powerful scaling the slide. Going up the slide is fun. It's a healthy adventure often apart of imaginative play. Climbing up the slide , helps kids test their strength, find their limits and gain balance, spatial awareness , social awareness and consideration."






Tuesday, October 2, 2018

How are Children programmed during the first seven years of life?




A couple of days ago, I saw a really interesting video on YouTube where Dr Bruce Lipton came up with a theory on how children are programmed from age 0 to 7 years? How we behave in-front of our kids and our actions as parents dictates our child's subconscious for the rest of their lives?

 95% of our life is governed by the programs (habits, decision making)which we have learnt during the first seven years of life , which forms our subconscious mind and 5% of our activities are dictated by our conscious mind which is comes from lectures we attend, a self help book, videos we watch post those 7 years . So for everyday functioning our body uses the subconscious mind (since most daily activities happen in auto mode) and not the conscious mind.

 He says that a child subconscious mind also known as theta, is formed by everything he observes from his surroundings - what his parents do, behave,respond and react? When a child plays his or her imaginary games , for the child, these games are real. He goes on to say that if a child comes from a rich family he will make it in life even if he has a low IQ, because his brain has been conditioned to make the right choices, he will subconsciously make all the right moves but a child from a poor family will remain poor even though he struggles all his life to make it big because his brain has been conditioned to the fact that life is so difficult and it is not easy to be successful.

How you act and react infront of your children becomes their inner voice? After seven years of life , your life is being lived by your subconscious state of mind and we don't even know it. Our conscious mind is the one that is creative, subconscious mind is in auto -mode which was formed during the first seven years of life. You behave a particular way post the 7 years of your life and you don't even consciously realize because that was indoctrinated in you.

But he does say there are two ways in which you can train your subconscious mind as an  adult . First is to identify where you are struggling? and secondly to overwrite your subconscious state of mind or if you want to teach your subconscious mind, it will only learn by repetition , the conscious mind can learns by read a self book , attending a lecture etc but your subconscious mind doesn't learn that way.

Subconscious state of mind learns by observing during the first seven years of life and then after that by repetition. So if you want to learn how to drive a car , you practice till you get it - this only happens by repetition. He goes on to say if you aren't happy but if you keep telling yourself repeatedly that you are ,your subconsciously mind will eventually believe that you are truly happy.

So the early years are really important for your child's future. Our actions, words really make an impact on our children , it also shapes the rest of their lives.

But I would disagree with Dr Lipton when he says that only first seven years dictates or controls the future of a child, it can't be so simplistic. I am in agreement that our actions do shape our children's minds but the time frame for a child to develop his or her subconscious mind has to be greater than seven years. "Also the fact that if a child comes from a poor family he can't make it in life because he is conditioned not to make it and struggle" is something I don't agree with either . There are so many example of individuals who don't come from fortunate backgrounds but do very well in life , as also children who are from well to do families don't really make a mark of their own. Definitely socio-economic status does make the environment of the child more conducive to perform .I feel that it is the attitude and temperament of the child which governs his or her performance, and yes! the parents do play a role here. It does boil down to nature vs nurture.

It is important to inculcate the following tips during early years of our child's lives:

a) Always have positive conversations in front of your child , we don't even realize the consequences of being negative about situations in-front of our children. Try not to look or act stressed in-front of your child. A stressed out parent will give rise to a stressed out child.

b) Let your child play creatively and make their own games , that helps them expand their subconscious mind.

c) Read them stories about influential people in the world and how they have impacted everyone in a positive way? eg Bhagat Singh, Subhash Chandra bose, Mahatma Gandhi,Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, Malala Yousafzai.

d) Teach them about happiness and how it comes from within and not from their situations , surroundings, material or even people.

e) Teach them to value money, make them do chores, teach them life skills.

f) Hug them and tell them you love them unconditionally everyday, it makes them feel secure and boosts their self esteem.

g) Teach them to be kind , compassionate and respectful to others.

h) Tell them everyday single that they need to be the best versions of themselves, never compare your child with anyone else.

i) Don't over compliment your child or make them feel entitled all the time.

j) Listen to your child and do take out time during the day as to what they have to or want to say? Children will listen to you , only when they have been listened to.



The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice-- anon


Monday, September 24, 2018

Plastic Pollution : are we poisoning our kids?


Unknowingly, everything around us contains plastic - containers which we use to store food, the buckets we bathe from, the tooth brush bristle on our brushes, the list can go on. The American Academy of Pediatrics wants parent to stop heating food in plastic containers in the microwave as also cut down on processed food because they are all sold in plastic covers. Studies have shown a link between cancer and exposure to the chemicals in plastics.

Bisphenol A's (BPA) is the dreaded chemical found in plastic.This BPA is known to leach out of plastic and contaminate food stored in it. It is also known to be an endocrine disrupting chemical , which in lay terms means that it messes with your child's hormonal functioning.  BPA is used to harden plastic and mimics the hormone "estrogen" which affects the child's immune system , increases body fat also causes decrease in fertility.

Apart from that plastic containers which say they are microwave safe actually aren't because they get scratched while washing and the BPA leaches out of the plastic and enters the food. Pediatricians recommend that we use steel and glass instead of plastic.

Below are some ways to replace plastic wherever necessary for your children and you:

a) Don't use plastic straws replace them with paper straws or steel straws  - they are easily available on amazon.
b) Don't use plastic plates , cutlery - use stainless steel, wooden spoons.
c) Use glass bowls in the microwave rather than plastic bowls.
d) Use glass bottles for water at home and stainless steel bottles if the child has to carry water to school or a class.
e) For storage of food as well , use glass or steel containers.
f) Use wooden tooth brushes ( Panda bamboo toothbrushes are available on amazon)
g) Replace the plastic bucket and mug with steel buckets (stainless steel buckets are available on amazon)
h) Use glass milk bottles for your babies , even though a lot of plastic bottles do say they are BPA free and microwaveable ,but glass bottles are still better.


The C word sends me jitters every time I hear it. My grand mom recently got diagnosed with breast cancer and it tore our world apart, because at her age, it is difficult to get chemo. The doctors recommended a mastectomy, even though its been three years since the C word came into our lives, you can never really tell who could be its next victim? Could it come back and get her again? I discovered a lump in my breast by accident as well a year ago, it turned out to be a fibroadenoma (a benign tumor) thankfully. 

Everyday in the paper I read how so many lives known and unknown are affected by this misery? Some are able to fight it and some succumb to it. But all we can do is keep to ourselves informed, protect our children from the chemicals around us, give them a healthy life and lifestyle. I have also come to realize that stress is a horrible thing. Stress brings down our guard , our immunity to fight. The people who have been able fight this disease are those who have been positive and optimistic in life. So even though we make the right lifestyle choices to be healthy we need to get rid off the stress in our lives, the stress which feeds the C word and makes it stronger.


Be a part of the solution and not the pollution - anon


Wednesday, September 5, 2018

How to become an Entrepreneurial Mommy?



Mothers who aren’t able to get back to work for whatever reason should start using whatever free time they have to think of ideas of doing something which fulfills them. As your child grows bigger and doesn’t need you as much and starts going to school you seem to have more time on your hand. You need to start making a roadmap in advance about what is it that you want to do and how do you want to go about it? 

Mothers all over the world are coming up with the most amazing ideas. I think it is important for mothers to find time and do something for themselves apart from taking care of their families. Most Indian moms feel or are made to feel that once they have had kids all they are supposed to do is put others before themselves, their needs and wants are of much lesser significance.
I have lately come across exemplary mothers who are contributing post having their babies and nothing has stopped them from achieving their dream. The other day I came across an article on this lady and new mommy, Natasha Bajaj who has started her own line of clothing called 'N&J'. Her website has trendy apparel for expecting mom and nursing moms. She has tapped into a space where not many players exist. Then there is the duo Deepika Khaitan and Sanjana Nath both mommies who have started a salon for kids called 'Flick' where kids get a pollution-free environment for a haircut, girls can get their nails done and hair braided. They also have a play-area for kids so that moms can pamper themselves while the children are taken care of.  

There is Lahar Bhatnagar who is mom to two most adorable kids and she is an author of '100 ways to be stress free mom and raise happy kids" , a parent coach and founder of Nirvanama. She keeps all the mommies agog for more tips on what to do and not to do? Megha Malik, mommy to two angel like girls, she is the founder of Resa Fine Jewelry. She has the most exquisite jewellery designs which you would have never seen before, she also travels extensively exhibiting her talent all across the world.  

Anika Kalha, mommy to two amazing kids, she is the one who curates one of the finest cutlery, crockery and canvas paintings from artisans all across the country and exhibits it under the name of ‘Seventh Sense’.  Her work is brilliant .

I feel so proud to know these ladies from all walks of life. There are many such examples of women which show - how mothers can balance out bringing-up their children and yet do something for themselves by thinking innovatively. It’s just about coming up with an innovative and unique idea and managing your time.
It is very fulfilling to go out there and do what you enjoy doing, and your life has a sense of purpose beyond taking care of your home, family and children. When you come back from work, you will find that you are recharged to take care of your family. I see that I am a better mom when I have given myself some time. You need to take care of your needs too. We Indian wives/moms seem to forget ourselves in the process; everything else seems to have higher priority than ourselves. 

But only if you take care of yourself will you be able to take care of your family. You need to take care of yourself emotionally, physically and spiritually, and only then can you take care of others' emotional physical and spiritual needs. That’s why it is important to find your calling and get to work.

 I find so many Indian women who feel overburdened with family and housework, but forget that there is life beyond it. They reach their 50s and are full of regrets; there is a feeling of non-fulfillment. This feeling stems from the fact that stay-at -home moms aren’t the 'bread earners'; the work done at home is taken for granted, since you don’t get a salary when you’re a stay- at-home mom. We keep trying to justify ourselves and at the end of the day we are miserable.
We need to empower ourselves and make this change. We need to stop feeling guilty; either we need to look for opportunities and get to work or be content and satisfied about being a stay-at-home mom. Staying at home too is a lot of work. We don’t need to justify to anyone why you’re working and not at home, nor as to why you are a stay-at-home mom. Do what makes you happy and content. I decided to write a book to share my experiences with others and that’s what makes me happy. There is no situation in life that can stop you from reaching where you want to be.

 We women need to empower and uplift each other instead bringing each other down. Its only when we uplift each other, we see a positive change. In this country of patriarchy it is us women who need to stand together for our right for equality whether at home or at work. Men still get a higher salary for the same skill set; men don’t have to make choices to take a break in their careers when they have to start a family. When we women stand by each other, is when we can make that change. Men in the west are brought up differently and both husband and wife contribute equally at work and home. The children also watch their parents treating each other as equals and grow up to do the same. 

A friend of mine shared a incident where her son noticed his father carrying his own plate to the kitchen which seemed out of ordinary for the child and asked the mother “why is papa carrying his plate, isn’t that a job for girls?” this notion that the kitchen is a place for women and the man is the bread winner is the indoctrinated in our families and needs to change. We need to change our environment at home, because our children are watching us and learning from us. So if we want to be treated equal, we need to show our kids what being equal is even at home. And it starts from sharing all responsibilities. It honestly never to late to start thinking about yourself. More power to all you mothers out there.

The joys of motherhood aren’t fully experienced until the children are in bed -anon


How not to lose your self esteem?


As you adorn the new role of a mother, some of you may decide to leave work and focus on your baby or work from home, get back to work or juggle both. Everyone makes the best possible choice suited for their family. But while we are making these educated fully thought out choices there are plenty of people judging us. We are constantly trying to justify our role as a mother; it is never seen as complete in itself. 

Your self esteem really takes a blow. You have thoughts of being worthless because even though you love your baby to bits , there is never any appreciation if you are a mother/wife/home maker or working mother! People like to jump to conclusions and make assumptions and while we are trying to do the best in all these roles – we always feel we are somehow falling short. 

Our society is such, women should cook, clean the house, take care of the kids, the in-laws and the husband, not particularly in that order. Eyebrows are raised in-case you have to travel for work leaving your family behind and are criticized for prioritizing work over everything -But, if the significant other has to travel, there are no questions asked. 

If you are a stay at home mom, you are asked “oh my God”- you have studied so much and you were doing so well at work – why have you left it all?' Everyone looks down upon you like you are some village idiot.  Stay at home mom’s look enviously at working mothers who seem to have their act together and are climbing the corporate ladder and doing something for themselves. 

On the other hand working mothers look enviously at the stay at home mom who manages to spend quality time with her kids, is there for every parent teacher meeting and  is also a great cook and home maker. Our significant others may miss parent teacher meetings or have minimal contribution in raising children, yet no one has any expectations from them. It is us women who have to justify all our roles and are made to sit on the judgment seat in case we fall short on any one of those roles.
When I decided to take a break from work for my baby, I never realized that I would be judged by everyone. People would often tell me that "we have brought up kids too you know" or that "I would never leave my job." I would often sit and cry by myself because I was a brand manager once upon a time and now I am a nobody. I didn’t have any self worth. I would often look at my husband enviously how he would leave for work every morning and have a sense of purpose in life. I on the other hand felt that I was doing nothing with my life. 

My husband would often say to me, "you know you are enough and you don’t have anything to prove to anyone" yet I felt empty. Whenever we would go to a social gathering and people ask me what I was doing, I would be at a loss for words and say, "nothing at the moment- just enjoying motherhood".I have also been asked in the past how I spend all my time at home and don’t I get bored? Absolutely the house just cleans itself magically while I sprawl in bed the whole day!
Friends of mine who work often complain about how difficult it is for them as relatives and friends are always making them feel guilty about how their child is constantly sick because their work is a priority. What a cruel thing to say? Children do fall sick, that’s how they build their immunity!- If you take leave from work, to take care of your sick child, – that’s glared upon as well. It is a big conundrum for us women, what to do? What not to do?
So, on days I felt upset and down and out and my son would be at school, I would take the opportunity to write. It was the greatest release for me to pen down my thoughts. Writing is what I felt gave me the courage to move on and carry out all my roles no matter what people would say. We women need to support each other and lift each other up whether at work or at home. 

When I started telling my near and dear ones that I was writing a book on first time mothers- , some of them were very appreciative of my efforts - But since I hadn’t written anything in my life before, a lot of them would mock me and say “so when is your book getting published?” -But I would take all of this in my stride. It doesn’t matter what people think. 

Happiness comes from within and not from around you. Let’s empower each other to do great things. No matter if you are a working mom or a stay at home mom. We are all in it together. And some days may seem especially hard to get through, but to be honest when I am with my son what other people say doesn’t matter because i know I am raising this being to the best of my capabilities. I am teaching him to be the best version of himself and to be kind and loving to everyone around him. Don’t get disheartened because- all you women out there are doing a great job. Ignore all the negativity and embrace positivity.

 There are times I tell my husband that people don't value me because I am not currently contributing financially to the family. But he says to me – you are a mother, a wife , a daughter, a daughter in-law, an accountant , a cook, a teacher and a home - maker all in one. You never get tired and never have a day off and no money in the world can justify the impact you make in this world.

Not one drop of my self- worth depends on your acceptance of me – Quincy Jones.



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