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Tuesday, October 2, 2018

How are Children programmed during the first seven years of life?




A couple of days ago, I saw a really interesting video on YouTube where Dr Bruce Lipton came up with a theory on how children are programmed from age 0 to 7 years? How we behave in-front of our kids and our actions as parents dictates our child's subconscious for the rest of their lives?

 95% of our life is governed by the programs (habits, decision making)which we have learnt during the first seven years of life , which forms our subconscious mind and 5% of our activities are dictated by our conscious mind which is comes from lectures we attend, a self help book, videos we watch post those 7 years . So for everyday functioning our body uses the subconscious mind (since most daily activities happen in auto mode) and not the conscious mind.

 He says that a child subconscious mind also known as theta, is formed by everything he observes from his surroundings - what his parents do, behave,respond and react? When a child plays his or her imaginary games , for the child, these games are real. He goes on to say that if a child comes from a rich family he will make it in life even if he has a low IQ, because his brain has been conditioned to make the right choices, he will subconsciously make all the right moves but a child from a poor family will remain poor even though he struggles all his life to make it big because his brain has been conditioned to the fact that life is so difficult and it is not easy to be successful.

How you act and react infront of your children becomes their inner voice? After seven years of life , your life is being lived by your subconscious state of mind and we don't even know it. Our conscious mind is the one that is creative, subconscious mind is in auto -mode which was formed during the first seven years of life. You behave a particular way post the 7 years of your life and you don't even consciously realize because that was indoctrinated in you.

But he does say there are two ways in which you can train your subconscious mind as an  adult . First is to identify where you are struggling? and secondly to overwrite your subconscious state of mind or if you want to teach your subconscious mind, it will only learn by repetition , the conscious mind can learns by read a self book , attending a lecture etc but your subconscious mind doesn't learn that way.

Subconscious state of mind learns by observing during the first seven years of life and then after that by repetition. So if you want to learn how to drive a car , you practice till you get it - this only happens by repetition. He goes on to say if you aren't happy but if you keep telling yourself repeatedly that you are ,your subconsciously mind will eventually believe that you are truly happy.

So the early years are really important for your child's future. Our actions, words really make an impact on our children , it also shapes the rest of their lives.

But I would disagree with Dr Lipton when he says that only first seven years dictates or controls the future of a child, it can't be so simplistic. I am in agreement that our actions do shape our children's minds but the time frame for a child to develop his or her subconscious mind has to be greater than seven years. "Also the fact that if a child comes from a poor family he can't make it in life because he is conditioned not to make it and struggle" is something I don't agree with either . There are so many example of individuals who don't come from fortunate backgrounds but do very well in life , as also children who are from well to do families don't really make a mark of their own. Definitely socio-economic status does make the environment of the child more conducive to perform .I feel that it is the attitude and temperament of the child which governs his or her performance, and yes! the parents do play a role here. It does boil down to nature vs nurture.

It is important to inculcate the following tips during early years of our child's lives:

a) Always have positive conversations in front of your child , we don't even realize the consequences of being negative about situations in-front of our children. Try not to look or act stressed in-front of your child. A stressed out parent will give rise to a stressed out child.

b) Let your child play creatively and make their own games , that helps them expand their subconscious mind.

c) Read them stories about influential people in the world and how they have impacted everyone in a positive way? eg Bhagat Singh, Subhash Chandra bose, Mahatma Gandhi,Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, Malala Yousafzai.

d) Teach them about happiness and how it comes from within and not from their situations , surroundings, material or even people.

e) Teach them to value money, make them do chores, teach them life skills.

f) Hug them and tell them you love them unconditionally everyday, it makes them feel secure and boosts their self esteem.

g) Teach them to be kind , compassionate and respectful to others.

h) Tell them everyday single that they need to be the best versions of themselves, never compare your child with anyone else.

i) Don't over compliment your child or make them feel entitled all the time.

j) Listen to your child and do take out time during the day as to what they have to or want to say? Children will listen to you , only when they have been listened to.



The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice-- anon


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