Do you make your children do chores?

We want our children to be compassionate, responsible, self-sufficient, self-reliant and independent individuals. When our children are at their work-place, we want them to take charge and roll their sleeves up and say that I am the one who will take initiative and not become that adult who is waiting for a checklist from the boss because in reality no such checklists exist. 

This feeling of getting out and being proactive comes from being independent and teaching the child self-sufficiency/efficacy. These two life skills should be nurtured in a child so that he or she becomes a successful adult. These two life skills come from doing chores - chores which are age appropriate and which teach them do their own work. It instills in the child that he or she can do a task on it's own without help, thus reinforcing the feeling of self- sufficiency/efficacy; also as they grow up, they aren’t dependent on anyone, if the need arises. 

Teach a 3 year old who comes back from school to take off his uniform, dress himself and keep his clothes in the laundry, teaching him to tidy up after playtime, carry his own plate to the kitchen after a meal. Doing chores teaches the child as he grows-up, that he is responsible for himself and his actions. Helping mother in the kitchen or helping father clean the car teaches children to work as a team, further emphasizing the fact that you need to help others in your professional as well as personal life. I am not asking you to overwork your child but teach your child, age-appropriate skills for his or her age so that as they grow they should be equipped with all these skills and not become handicapped because of a lack of those. 

Below is a list of age-appropriate chores which I found online; these seem pretty suitable. Every child is unique and grows at his or her own pace, so only when the child has mastered one skill-set should the child move onto the next. In my son’s class even the teachers tell me that the children who are given responsibility of some sort at a very early age are very hands -on and feel empowered and volunteer to take on responsibility. These children have better gross motor skills. We make our children handicapped unknowingly, by wanting to do everything for them as also thinking that doing chores is not important enough, and why should they waste their time on this. 

You want their day spent doing 'more productive and constructive activities', which show immediate results, not realizing the long term benefits of doing chores. When my son is back from school, I ensure that he changes his clothes, puts them in the laundry, tidies-up his room after play, keeps the utensils back in the kitchen, folds his own clothes, has a bath and brushes his teeth with assistance, helps in the kitchen by filling the empty bottles and laying the table.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    

AGE APPROPRIATE CHORES FOR KIDS

AGE 2-3

·        Dress themselves

·        Put dirty clothes in the laundry

·        Pick up toys

·        Feed the pets

AGE 4-5

·        All the previous chores

·        Assist in making the bed

·        Put their dirty utensils in the kitchen

·        Help sort socks and underwear

·        Help in setting the table

AGE 6-8

·        All previous chores

·        Set clothes for the next morning

·        Shower on their own

·        Wash post going to loo

·        Fold own laundry and put it away in room

·        Make basic meals like sandwiches and lemonade

·        Keep room clean and tidy

AGE 9-11

·        All previous chores

·        Help with cooking

·        Help in making a shopping list

·        Get  younger sibling get dressed and fed

·        Watering plants, cleaning car

AGE 12+

·        All previous chores

·        Help with bill payments electricity bills, telephone bills, water bills online

·        Cook breakfast like omelet , make tea independently

·        Wash clothes in the washing machine

·        Take the dog for a walk

It’s great if you are able to inculcate the habit of chores early in life because they become independent and confident to manage daily activities on their own and it’s not an obstacle in the way of them to achieve greater things in life. They also develop a true sense of responsibility and are able to finish tasks given to them even in the long run. 

They have a sense of ownership of their responsibilities. Since I suffer from first baby syndrome where I want to do everything on my own, I realized that I was depriving my child of life skills which are equally important as being able to read and write. It’s never too late to start and encourage your child to help you around the house. Since my son wasn’t used to doing any work around the house, everything was brought and fetched for him. The idea of doing chores was met with a lot of reluctance like he would say things like I am tired after school, can I do it some other day. We started to do chores on weekends. I made a chart where he would get a star for every chore he would do and at the end of the week if the total number of stars were above 80%, he would get to watch an extra half an hour of television on the weekend. Make every chore sound like a fun activity not work. After a couple of weeks it started to come naturally to him. The environment of house also makes a lot of difference; make sure that you are all on the same page because even if one adult says it’s alright let me do it for you, the whole purpose doing the chore is lost. Make your child realize that everyone at home has some form of responsibility and we all as family work together and help each other out. This also helps with the fact that when your daughter or son gets married they are supportive each other and don’t feel a particular responsibility is for a man or a woman. We are all equal; there no such thing as this job is for a man or a woman.               

Any child will do his or her chores if you ask at bed time - anon